Krispy Kreme is Heavenly

yes.... YES!

Hot and fresh are my absolute favorites... and the chocolate cake glazed.

Old People Rock!

All I can say is amazing!

We're More than Skin and Bones

 

Hanging out in human anatomy and physiology with our table's skeleton; Grim. He's a friendly guy.

And may I say... DAMN! I look good (thin anyway I'm a little busted since class starts at 8:30AM.). Weight loss has treated me alright if I say so myself.

Bras, Busts, and Questions

I hope no one on campus is running around missing their bra... it's in the parking spot next to me. I wish I had picked it up despite looking super nasty and put it on the bust on campus of John Tyler. It's probably for the best that I didn't because I wouldn't want to have to explain to my parents that I got kicked out of community college for placing a bra on the bust of a former U.S. president and person the school is named after.

I do wonder how this item got to find it's way in the parking lot of John Tyler Community College. I hope someone was getting a little something hot in the parking lot and had to get out fast and lost their bra because of a raptor attack or something.

It isn't Always so Black & White

 

A photogram I made in my photography class. My teacher didn't seem to care for it because she wanted us to do one that showed obvious layers. Which meant just throwing shit on to a piece of photo paper instead of making something that had thought put into composition. I did one or two the way she wanted just to give it a try and I hated it. This is an art class and in my opinion that means there isn't just one single way to do it.

Because I can't Always say what I Need to

Sometimes I find it the hardest to tell you how I feel; positive or negative. I just don't want to say the wrong thing or have the translation from my head to my mouth get all kinds of screwed up. I know it's silly and you want to know what's going on inside my noggin but sometimes I'm not even completely sure what's going on up there. You mean so much to me more than I know how to say and I wish I was better at putting it all into words for you. As corny as it sounds I just don't think there really are words for how wonderful and terrible you can make me feel. I don't think you know sometimes that you hold my heart in your hand and that it doesn't take much to break it. I know I at times try to come across as stronger than I am but I think you and I both know deep down inside I'm a big ol' softie. I want to be held when I'm upset to the point of tears, have you push my hair off my face, look me in the eyes with a smile on your face, and just tell me how wonderful I am and that no matter what you'll be there for me and love me.

I wouldn't mind getting a video game or stuffed animal or something from you if it wasn't all you'd ever given me. You say you don't know what else to get me and to you maybe it doesn't read the same way as it does for me, but it makes me think you only see one side of me when infact I have so many different sides and interests. I love photography so maybe a Holga camera would be something I would go bananas for. I enjoy movies so maybe purchasing me a movie we could enjoy together or had seen together in theaters. Jewelry is always a hit but don't just buy something because it's convenient or within your price range. I'd rather you wait and get me something that fits my personal style or is from a designer I like (Muse Glass or TwistStyle both sold at Alive in Carytown). Cooking is something I also really enjoy and fondue especially so maybe a real fondue pot the kind with the double boiler so I don't burn my chocolate they aren't expensive. I love to read too so a book by a similar author to one that I enjoy would be appreciated. I will admit to not being a huge fan of getting a book as a gift but if there is an element of thought put into it then it's more enjoyable and special to me because it means you actually took the time to think about it and the reasons behind purchasing instead of grabbing something and thinking "I guess she'll like this." I also love art and I could use more for my apartment it doesn't have to be something expensive but a few cute paintings would really make my apartment more homey. I love wall decorations that are unique and interesting. Maybe something no one else would have instead of a print of a famous painting. I think what I'm trying to say is putting effort into getting someone the perfect gift for them is what makes it special and worth the money even if it's only $5. When I gift I don't just think what is readily available if I have to go to four different stores to find the perfect item to complete my zombie survival guide I will (and I did). I will hunt high and low for something until I find what I'm looking for and it means that much more because I knew what would make the best impact and what someone else would appreciate the most. Taking the time to make something is such an amazing display of yourself and your feelings. It's like going that extra mile to make someone feel special, and unless it's macaroni art or obviously done at the last minute is always well received.

Another thing I'm worried about is that we are too set in our ways or don't really do much besides hang out grab some food watch something on TV and go to bed. I think maybe we set ourselves up for it since we only hang out late at night. I'm worried my boyfriend could be a vampire or at least becoming one and I don't want to date Edward Cullen from Twilight. I want to be able to go out and grab lunch and do something in the daylight and take random adventures and enjoy being spontaneous. I think being spontaneous is so romantic; just grabbing yourself and driving to Williamsburg for a caramel apple or up to Philadelphia for a cheesesteak. I don't even think we'd need to go that far to be spontaneous but those are just examples. Surprising each other is something fun too. I try to randomly do it and dress up more than normal just to try and show you I can be pretty and not just ordinary looking. I wear sexy lingerie occasionally and don't say anything just to let you notice (maybe not that much of a surprise but it's still something). I feel like everything we do is almost routine these days. It's not terrible but it's not great either. I understand both of us are busy but I think we need to start making the most of the time we spend together instead of just being content with doing hardly anything together.

I won't lie it scares me that you are scared of commitment. It scares me a lot. I don't want to push you too hard too fast and I hope that's not want I'm doing. I wish you'd maybe tell me what it is that scares you exactly so we can work on easing your fears and making you more comfortable in the relationship. If it's something I'm doing that frightens you I want to know so I can hopefully correct it and help you not be scared. I personally just try to take it one step at a time for the most part. Sometimes I let my planning nature get the best of me but it's who I am I just try to let things happen as they will but it is difficult to do at times.

I don't know why I can't just say these things to you or tell you that I just wish you'd tell me more that you appreciate me or that I look beautiful (even if I don't even agree). I know I'm probably asking for a lot but I want to feel like you really mean it when you say these things instead of feeling like I had to ask you to say it instead. I understand that right now all of this might not be completely realistic but I think it might put me at ease to see a decent push to start heading in that direction and some effort as well. I put into our relationship what I want to get out of it. It's that simple and complicated at the same time.

The Week from Hell

This week has been the absolute worst. I can't wait for it to be over so hopefully everything will stop going wrong. Today has been the worst so far. I woke up with a really bad stomach ache and stayed in bed until it passed hoping it would be nothing. I got up did a few things around my apartment and thought maybe I needed to eat and that's why my stomach had been hurting. I grab a thing of crackers and put one in my mouth begin to chew and have to almost immediately spit it out because I realize I'm going to throw up. At least I had time to run to my vanity and get a hairtie so I wouldn't get puke in my hair. My vomit was the color of pizza grease... you know the nasty orange color. I stood over my toilet for about five minutes this morning puking out my guts and hoping that would be it. I felt like ass after I vomited and still had to do some studying for an early morning biology exam on epithelial tissue, connective tissue, and the skin. I about threw up walking up to the building this morning from my car and I could barely stand up without wanting to hurl. I felt so miserable taking the test I was afraid that I would just throw up all over a microscope and be royally screwed. I must say I absolutely hate the way teeth feel after you throw up. They still feel funny even after a good thorough brushing and mouth wash. This week I also locked my keys in my car, had an argument with Paul, felt sick at work, haven't been able to eat much, and other small things like my water pitcher being frozen solid and my the heater shooting out cold air instead of warm. I guess a few things didn't go too terribly this week though. Paul and I are doing better it seems. USA beat Canada in men's ice hockey Sunday so that was pretty awesome and women's ice hockey is going to play Canada for the gold this week. I caught a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie on HBO, discoverd that my on demand had Spongebob Squarepants, Arrested Development, and old school X-men episodes for free. The guy who came to get my keys out of my car for me tried to hit on me hardcore despite the fact that I hadn't even brushed my hair for the day and was wearing a baggy hoodie and a pair of jeans in the rain. I haven't felt all that pretty recently so it was a nice and much needed compliment. I still had to do an overload on the studying for my biology class since I had been neglecting it and I have about seven assignments due this Friday for my nutrition class that I have hardly looked at so the stress of that is killing me. I'm also stressed about money because I have none. Another thing that's really getting to me is that if I get a C or lower on any of my classes I probably won't get into nursing school so I have to do well on EVERYTHING. At least I have my family, Paul, and my friends to help me through all of this. It always seems to surprise me how supportive everyone is when I'm going through tough times like this and it makes me happy that I have a wonderful group of friends.

I Don't Have any Idea Where to go From Here

I had even made the envelope a little stamp. I try to pay attention to even the smallest details when I put effort into something.

It Took Forever to Make and only a few Minutes to Destroy

This is what a ripped up homemade valentine's day card looks like.

I can't Believe it's almost been 20 Years

Snow Loving

I saw this by my brother's new house in Farmville.

Heading to Farmvegas with Douglas by My Side

A Long Stream of Conscious Revisited

This is something I've been meaning to do for a long time and I just haven't found the time to get around to it or know exactly what to say. I want to retract a few things from my blog A Long Strem of Conscious. I want to say that at the time I was feeling very emotional and like it says in the title it's a stream of conscious and not to be taken completely literal. I was so focused on the negative things and completely ignored the positive and more happier and unlifting things with Paul and I. Some of the things I said had me down sort of did but I didn't completely cover both sides. With the toys and other gifts he's gotten me over time I do sometimes feel he only sees me in one light but I do also appreciate those things as well he and I are able to have fun with each other. I do at times feel that he can be a bit immature when he should be serious but I love him for it at the same time. When I wrote the blog I felt so hopeless and low I probably should have taken a little bit of time before writing that blog but I just had to get it all out of my system and try to figure out where some of those feelings were coming from at the same time. I still see a few things that need improvement but they are more smaller things that don't even add up to really being all that upsetting. I just wonder why when he sees a friend or someone he knows he doesn't introduce me or anything. I used to do the same thing to past boyfriends because I was either embarassed or didn't want people to know I was in a relationship with that person and there was no way around introducing them without the words "my boyfriend." I don't know if he is trying to distance himself from the relationship or just doesn't think. I'm more leaning with he doesn't think at times. Another thing is we usually only hang with my friends and never his. I try to make sure I include him in things I think he would enjoy even with my friends and I wish he would invite me out with him and his friends once and a while. I respect that we both need our time to ourselves and with our friends apart from each other but we just never do anything with his friends. It doesn't bother me THAT much but it once and a while makes me question things. I'm not crying over it or anything like that it's just something that occasionaly crosses my mind. I love Paul to death and none of bad things about and our relationship even comes close to outweighing the good things. We have so much fun together and he can really make me laugh no matter how upset I am he just knows me and he's constantly learning new things about me so he's constantly getting better at understanding me. It's been a little over 8 months and I can honestly say they have been some of the happiest months I've had in recent years.

The Girliest thing I'll ever Admit to

This is probably going to sound super lame on my part, but whatever. I woke up to find Paul had left a few things here: a hoodie, hat, highlighter, and a pants hanger. I've been wearing his hoodie for a little while, and I love the fact that it smells like him. I'm such a girl but it doesn't bother me one bit, and if someone is going to hate on that they can take a hike.

I moved all my candles to my coffee table so I could set up the new decoration I made yesterday on my dinning table.

Short Rant with a Family Guy Reference

Why the hell is it that some people (mainly guys) can't take a hint??? I just don't get it at all I ignore these people when they call or text and I have them blocked on facebook and yet they keep trying to come around again and again. I just don't know how else to put it without adding a neon sign and a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man so they can get the picture. I want them to go away and leave me alone but they are worse than cockroaches and not even a nuclear holocaust will probably keep them from ruining my day.

Photos from the Lamest Freak Show in Hell

 

Paul and I waiting for the freak show to start.

Everyone gathered close and introductions were made.

Fire eater.

Legit freak. She was a one legged midget.

She pretty much did some break dancing moves. It was only cool because she's got one leg.

This asshole did magic and felt that chick up. He also put a drill up his nose and a mousetrap on his tounge.

This looked so freaking painful. He dangled a bucket of water from his eyelids. OUCH!

Then he swung it around. OUCHx10,000!!!!

He stuck a light bulb in his mouth and then smashed it with a hammer and ate it. WOW Dream big.

This chick wasn't much of a looker and this really isn't all that freaky but it looks pretty cool.

Then she lit a cigarette in her mouth. I guess having the lights off made them feel it was more dramatic.

So dude man here laid out on some swords and the other guy put a cinderblock on his body and smashed it with a sledgehammer.

This guy came out again and swallowed a huge, long balloon. I guess he gets lots of practice sucking cock.

She came out and swallowed some swords. Again she probably sucks the collective cock with the other guy.

Apparently she is an elf?

The Greatest Show in Hell is Running way Late

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! FREAKS!!!!!!

Dinner is a Dish Best Served Warm

It's feeding time at the O.K. Corral.

Pink might not be my Favorite Color but it is Pretty

 

The finished product from my trip to the craft store. Nothing fancy or complicated just pretty. I'm not sure where I want to put it yet but I'll find it a place soon enough.

Romance doesn't have to Die when you get Married

Aww... Dad got Mom roses for V-day. So sweet!

Maybe if I Wish Hard enough Spring will get here Faster

I got some fake flowers for $1 a piece and a cute vase to put them in to help decorate my apartment for the spring/summer. I absolutely love craft stores.

NFG... FTW!

NEW FOUND GLORY!!!!!

A Valentine's Day show is the Best Date

Love is more Important than any of the Other Emotions

 

We were shopping down at Carytown and I happened to see a heart painted on the side of a building so I couldn't resist myself.

I love him for so many different reasons and he has made me happier than anyone else ever has.

Paul might not think of Papa John's when he Thinks Romance...

... but I do when it's Valentine's Day and they have heart-shaped pizzas on their menu.

I wish they did this year round.

Happy V-Day to my butterfry rover... Carol Ann!

A Collection of Love for V-day

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

From funny to sweet... I love them all.

Ramblings about Valentine's Day

For Valentine's Day I'm making Paul a card and a little thing to go along with it. Nothing fancy just some good old fashion crafting at work. I really go enjoy expressing my feelings with something that I have made; a card, something to show how I feel, a cake, or jewelry. I might not be the most artistic person ever but I can atleast do the basics. I hope he likes what I'm working on. I'm pretty sure he will since I put in the time to make him something. I haven't decided if I'm going to make something edible for him or not. It all depends on time. I don't know what or if he's going to do anything for me besides the tickets to the national on V-day. If not that's fine but I still wouldn't mind something shiny. This isn't me trying to be creepy and hint at wanting an engagement ring. I would probably throw up someone proposed to me at this point in my life it doesn't matter how long I'd been with them. I just love jewelry. Necklaces and earings are my weakness. I do also like rings (not the kind that go on the left hand ring finger and have a huge rock on them). I don't usually wear much on my wrists so I wouldn't suggest much else in the jewelry department. I do also love chocolate but I'm trying to not eat it as much these days. I'd rather have well thought out gift than something expensive.

Speaks for Itself