Last night I went to Richbrau with Sarah, Paul, and Carl and one of his friends. It was the first time since my birthday that I've been out to the bars. I also haven't had any alcohol to drink since my birthday. Not going to lie it was sort of lame going to the bars and being completely sober. I did have some fun, but it was nowhere near as much fun as the times I used to have when I got drunk. I've had plenty of sober fun since my no drinking decision but none of those times have been inside a bar. It felt like I was completely out of my element even though I've been to plenty of bars, but usually I've been blitzed.
Another thing that probably added to my completely awkward feeling like a penguin on the north pole is that I know I'm a terrible dancer. My "friend" used to make fun of me nonstop 4 years ago for not being able to dance. I'm just not comfortable anywhere near a dance floor unless I have a suitable amount of alcohol flowing in my system and I'm sure even then I still can't dance but at that point I don't care. I'm usually completely fine with embarassing myself but when it comes to dancing in a club setting I just nearly freeze and constantly wish to be away from the dancefloor.
I know I could have remedied the situation and ponied up to the bar and started ordering my usual drinks and been set to go. That period in my life where I got hammered as quickly as possible is behind me. I'm trying to be a responsible adult and not have my boyfriend worried about me drinking and driving 3 nights out of the week (he's considerate and gets me the extra ammo box for my Nerf guns and I do my part and don't go out drinking and making stupid choices that would cause anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend to be nervous wreck). I also need to stop wasting money on alcohol, and I have goals of being healthier and losing weight. A huge reason is also I would like to actually remember some of the stupid things I do and the fun times I have with my friends. Sure, drinking can be fun but not drinking and doing other things with people is just as much if not more (because I remember it).
I'm not saying I get so drunk every single time where I can't remember the things I did or said that night I have had plenty of nights where moderation did happen. It's just easier not to take the risk. I do also have plenty of fun memories from times I did get drunk that weren't lost to alcohol and other times I wish had been. Either way I'm happy with the decision to not drink even if it means bars are a lot less fun. I guess the fact that they are bars should be a big hint on them not being so fun when you're sober compaired to when you're drunk.
Even though I don't like all the choices I've made while under the influence some aren't so bad and I really wouldn't change much about the past year (except maybe spending less on alcohol). I did make one choice while I was buzzing on Casey's birthday that I don't regret at all...
Another thing that probably added to my completely awkward feeling like a penguin on the north pole is that I know I'm a terrible dancer. My "friend" used to make fun of me nonstop 4 years ago for not being able to dance. I'm just not comfortable anywhere near a dance floor unless I have a suitable amount of alcohol flowing in my system and I'm sure even then I still can't dance but at that point I don't care. I'm usually completely fine with embarassing myself but when it comes to dancing in a club setting I just nearly freeze and constantly wish to be away from the dancefloor. 
I know I could have remedied the situation and ponied up to the bar and started ordering my usual drinks and been set to go. That period in my life where I got hammered as quickly as possible is behind me. I'm trying to be a responsible adult and not have my boyfriend worried about me drinking and driving 3 nights out of the week (he's considerate and gets me the extra ammo box for my Nerf guns and I do my part and don't go out drinking and making stupid choices that would cause anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend to be nervous wreck). I also need to stop wasting money on alcohol, and I have goals of being healthier and losing weight. A huge reason is also I would like to actually remember some of the stupid things I do and the fun times I have with my friends. Sure, drinking can be fun but not drinking and doing other things with people is just as much if not more (because I remember it).
Even though I don't like all the choices I've made while under the influence some aren't so bad and I really wouldn't change much about the past year (except maybe spending less on alcohol). I did make one choice while I was buzzing on Casey's birthday that I don't regret at all...
Listening to: "Evacuate the Dancefloor" by Cascada
Quote of the Day: "If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame." -Adam Duritz (or Counting Crows)
Quote of the Day: "If you've never stared off in the distance, then your life is a shame." -Adam Duritz (or Counting Crows)
So.. I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. I feel bad, because I hate going to parties where I don't know a lot of people, or going out to bars where everyone I'm with is getting hammered, because then I feel either like the socially awkward turtle (because we all know alcohol helps everyone make friends!) or the responsible nagging adult. But.. I still like to hang out with these people. Luckily, most of my (our?) friends are also starting to come to this conclusion, but its still really hard to feel like you fit in when you're the only sober one in the room.
ReplyDelete