Don't confuse me for thinking I'm ugly. I just feel there is no appeal to the way I look that would attract anyone. To me this isn't negativity it's just me being realistic; I'm not nor will I ever look like a model or a beautiful actress.
When people try to tell me I'm pretty I get suspicious of their motives. Maybe this is because when I was in high school I remember very distinctly thinking a guy was really into me and telling a group of friends about whatever it was I don't remember, and one of them said this guy would only be interested in me to get something. I think she meant sex and no one would want me for anything else or because they thought I was pretty or a fun person. My mom also told me constantly when I was in high school how when she was my age she was thinner. I like to think she didn't mean to put any malice behind what she said but sometimes I don't know.
I keep thinking maybe if I lost 20 more pounds my body image issues would disappear but then I realize I would just come up with a new set of things wrong with me. I don't want your compliments because of this post or if I say something negative about myself. People don't realize how fake they sound when they only say something nice about something because they seem to be down on themselves. Also, if someone says something nice about you and you respond with a compliment it just appears to me as if you are trying to say something nice true or not because they said something nice about you.
Listening to: "Can't Take It In" by Imogen Heap
Quote of the Day: "Beauty?... To me it is a word without sense because I do not know where its meaning comes from nor where it leads to." -Pablo Picasso
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