Pathetic Existence I don't Call a Life

I hate to say it but this past week I haven't been very happy. I've hardly done anything except go to school and come home and watch some TV or a movie. It's so boring and I'm in desperate need of a huge change in my life. Something that would change my world completely and make me feel more excited to be alive (not saying I want to kill myself just feeling "meh..." to put how I feel to one word.). I just don't really feel like I'm living my life or enjoying it anymore. I've become a hermit and not even by choice it's just everyone is so busy. I often feel isolated and like I have no one to talk to or any close friends. In fact I would guess it's almost safe to say I'm not close to anyone these days. No one in my family or friends. I just don't usually tell people my inner most feelings because I know everyone has their issues and there's no sense dragging someone else down with you by burdening them with your problems. In the past I did isolate some people and I do wish I hadn't but it is what it is. People move on and go their own way. I just wish I had someone I could talk to. Someone to tell my deepest fears and worries, and someone to share the stupid stuff with too. Sure I have friends and people I talk to but I hardly see anyone and I feel like there isn't room for me in their lives except for the rare hang out. I hate to say it but I think I saw my friends more when I was drinking. I mean I actually went out with people and socialized. I don't miss the alcohol but I do really miss hanging out with my friends and sharing a good laugh and maybe a nice glass of wine or sangria. Oh how I miss sangria. Most of my friends have their boyfriends that take up most of their time so they don't do much else anyway. Some of my other friends that I used to be super close with are off at school or moved away so I hardly ever see them or talk to them. I just want one person to be there for me and for me to be able to be there for them when they need it too. Just to feel really close to someone and have that kind of connection that you know will last.